As an Asian man, standing right next to him, dudes would just completely disregard me.
I thought that my chances of finding another guy were much lower, so I convinced myself that I needed this relationship more than my partner.
Not only do I not wish to date within my own race, I prefer to date my own gender.
Granted, he was more muscular and taller, but when things like that happened, I became much more afraid of losing him because I thought that I was easily replaceable.
The women I have dated understood that I desired equality within a relationship, that we would be partners. Nobody has ever said to me, “I’m not into Asian guys.” That said, actions speak louder than words, and I don’t match as often as I’d like on dating apps in Pittsburgh. I’m a pharmacist and I was engaged to someone who didn’t graduate college, and it created such a problem in my family.
I haven’t had to deal with Asian fetishization; I mean, how often have you heard women say, “Oh shit, I only date Asian guys! There’s this expectation that the man should have an equal or higher degree than the woman, and for me and my fiance, it obviously wasn’t the case.
It took a lot of time and convincing for my parents to accept him, even though it didn’t work out in the end.
In Indian culture, it’s not just the person you marry that matters; it’s also the family they come from.
In my head, our races created a power dynamic and the pendulum swung more in favor towards my partner.