"Said the pieman unto Simon"Pies, dumbass""Some days, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps..." - Emo Phillips"I'm tired of chasing my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are headed so we can meet up later" -Mitch Headburg When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and let the rest of the world wonder how the hell you just did one I live my life by I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."Never put off untill tomarrow what you can dupe someone else into doing for you today."Somedays your the windshield, somedays your the bug, and somedays your the rock that cracks through the windshield. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rateat which one can die. If you see him withoutan erection, make him a sandwich.Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them fora day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Not really good for anything, but youstill can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
We’ve gathered up 30 witty dating quotes from celebrities in the hopes that a little bit of insight, intelligence, and, yes, laughter can help you take on Valentine’s season with a bit of a different attitude. — Jennifer Lopez MORE: 50 Motivational Career Quotes to Help You Kick Ass at Work 10. The idea of a soulmate is a romantic but essentially flawed concept. Knowledge of our differences can make the commitment twice as sweet, if we can respect the differences that will emerge along the way.An intimate relationship is not destined, it is constructed over time.Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc.Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... I’m older and wiser and I think I’d make a great girlfriend. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day—and another, in case it doesn’t rain. — Jennifer Love Hewitt MORE: 101 Amazing Love Quotes We’ll Never Get Tired Of 6. But then I’d get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. Dating has taught me what I want and don’t want, who I am, and who I want to be. Dating is really hard because everyone puts on a front.