The biggest mistake you can make on a date is simply not listening, says Orbuch.If all you do is talk about yourself and your “super interesting” life, it will only push your date further away from you because it will make you come across as self-centred.Besides, do you really need to know where they went on holiday last year, or what they had for breakfast in 2014?Hopefully you knew this already, but nobody wants to hear about the petty fights you and your ex used to have, especially not on a first date.According to Firstein, “checklist dating” could prevent you from getting to know someone properly.It’s best to go into every date with an open mind, she says, because you never know who is going to sweep you off your feet.Of course, you may simply be self-centred in which case, as you were, dear singleton.So we spoke with the experts, Terri Orbuch, who has a Ph D in social psychology and is the creator of the online video course How to Find Love in 7 Days; Rachel Sussman, a licensed clinical social worker, licensed psychotherapist, and author of The Breakup Bible; and Irina Firstein, a licensed clinical social worker and licensed relationship therapist based in NYC, to get to the bottom of what mistakes you may be making and how to fix them so that you can better navigate the bizarre, and sometimes incredibly infuriating, world of dating. Dating today, with the pre–first date research you can do on the internet and with social media, can be really hard, Sussman tells Buzz Feed Health.
“I don’t think that kissing or hooking up on the first few dates is the only way to know if a person is truly interested you or not,” says Orbuch.
Anything too prim and proper could come across as pretentious – not to mention it sets the bar pretty high for any subsequent dates.
Also, don’t get too drunk because, as you know, people make silly choices under the influence of alcohol.
In the age of “FAKE NEWS”, she warns that a lot of what you find online might be untrue and could therefore give you a whole host of false preconceptions before you’ve even met your date in person.
Refrain from deep-diving into their Instagram feed ahead of time.
However, relationships coach Ar'nie Rozah Krogh told that having a checklist can actually help singletons identify what they're looking for, just try not to be so strict in your ticking off process.